Home after a day in the afternoon, I sat in the town square stands for a long time roaming call, microphone sound is open, surrounded by people. According to the man she's like me, ask me why after so long still wedded to the past not forget for a moment, I wanted to think, don't know how to answer her, I'm used to desperate to love a person, no matter how to all have no way to give up, but so speak, think where I went wrong. So I told her that yao said cheer up, put down, every time is always unconsciously think of the person who give warm, often and always smile intoxicated when see reality, think of the pain, then the feeling of cold can't warm up.
L city still continues the high temperature these days, in the evening from a friend's house to get out, is already at two o 'clock in the morning, take a taxi home along the 312 national road, the car suddenly fierce dance music, thought that is what hit the object, the taxi driver down to check the tires. From just this time I return to absolute being, in the condition of the surrounding is a highway toll station of the touch kind, has now been demolished recognition, can vaguely saw shang cities in the top of the city, the driver said, here is the ancient shang fief, later, riots, shang Yang was dismemberment put to death. Listen and not feel too sad, at most is some regret, was cut off because it is a long history, it is no too many feelings. Afraid of being seen numbness and discomfort from deep of my heart, my smile is echoed.
No one on the road, occasionally there will be a large vehicles carrying goods passing by, the intersection is next to the DMV, blue and white light box on the illuminate of policeofficer is straightforward, cold, like the end of the world, I whisper a word from the throat to, probably is, "I acutely I acutely," and so on, this time I realized that I was talking to himself, it's not as easy as popping up a "ah", but I myself a person take turns and drank the wine, a large group of people sitting in the corner vomit up, and then feckless while crying call yourself give up not to drop, inarticulate repeated back and forth on the phone "I miss you I miss you I miss you....". This is my fifth month after brokenhearted.
Nissan's movies when my girlfriend is a robot in 2011, just remember in the movie about Tokyo earthquake scene, said is the hero in the fall in the ground crack aperture, buried in the heavy buildings in female robot could struggle flesh off his body little by little, give up off his lower body and then the hero saved down. Don't know why I special to remember, I seem to have thought of this deｓｃｒｉｐｔion is not in the irony I fragile love, let me blurred and decadent.
Lovelorn after I moved out from the school, lives in a small house near the school, has just moved in, the landlord let me half a year's rent in advance, I told him not necessarily live so long time, when he know that I am the local school student, a good let me a month's rent in advance and deposit of 100 yuan, can say to pay by the month. Small house on a household is a girl, the room is not my idea of a mess, clean a few is I the whole of the end, the ornamental on the wall are still exist, which is to a lot of things in our province, looks pretty sweet.
Have a friend coming to see me, he asked if I was confused and his girlfriend out cohabitation, my heart hurt, still with a smile on her face, girlfriend is help to arrange, casually mention it pretend don't care. At that time I don't want anyone to know the news that I have lost love, as if the heart has always been stubborn think just peace quarrel, some time will be ok, my love, I never want to lose.
Later I called DX, she is my best friend and I climbed to the top floor of the balcony, hysterical let her comfort me, I am sick to death, the tears have involuntarily shed came, she just don't know. Daily with DX 2, I don't have to keep what image, even scold each other feel very enjoyable.
At that time, had just begun to come into contact with the liquor, is absolutely not touch before, don't know how to feel wine spicy faded, finally can use plastic cups like drink plain boiled water to drink the wine. Erode, whole room is the smell of alcohol I wouldn't go out for a few days in a row, a person alone in the face of their sloppy appearance, again how cowardly and uneasiness, also is one of the things, also have no other people will see, everything becomes so feel at ease.
Outside is very busy, all kinds of snacks, every evening, small lanes on both sides of the road will be filled with all sorts of cart food, fruits, vegetables, and sometimes some strange things to sell, for example, in one we travel together in the inside lane when they see a street is full of with red line to wear jewelry, we bought a couple pendant, standing in the crowd, she gave me on the arm. But then lay in the place, never could be destroyed by the urban management, and we each other with pendant unwitting lost disappeared in the day to day. But fortunately, there is time, I hide in the room when hungry is necessity for dinner, just see for a long time before the door out of the visible in an Internet cafe, the more style, place into a pile of a pile of classified, or one yuan a, all sorts of people patiently squatted on the ground to pay, I saw at a glance what we bought before, just never and I together in pairs wear couple, no one will stand in the street in the center of the crowd, give me fine to wear on his arm.
Have had for a long time, I don't have the habit a person to face alone, in the face of small house empty, silent no vitality also like in the stream of people is passing quickly lost of despair. Sugar sugar can call me from time to time, with my chat will day, think I will better, but not completely, this kind of thing will only to remind me, how I fear and the outside world, the only exist because of the distance, I longed for is nothing but a living friend immediately appear in front of me, for ten minutes.
And then time, sugar sugar to her love specificity, under the initiative of boyfriend, cut off all the contact of the opposite sex. So, later, completely dark in the day, I and he took the key and change out of the door, aimless walk in the street near the school. May see in the booth can let my eyes a bright, and there is always surging crowd, everybody speak loudly. , think of the manager and I am most familiar with, each time you walk into would give I casual smile, French fries and hamburgers in the lettuce will never put more than others, but these things are according to the membership price settlement, it makes me appreciate it.
Like in this way, forget the initial difficulties felt by some life, gradually, became a, like their onlookers, live in.
Is unconsciously accustomed to a noodle shop called "king of hand side", not only taste delicious, the most main is can eat five dollars a bowl. Eat out almost isn't at school, in the past, because there is always see pull the car dirty oil drum, afraid to eat to use cooking oil to do something. Seems to be slowly don't care about these things now, think of long ago and take her out at night to eat the supermarket down the sichuan cuisine, spicy I kept drinking water, two people together in the same pattern hoodie, she reached into my pocket, and from behind why again why I eat these things, but it was already a person, it is the risk of large food after only two people can eat ah.
To go out to play, with DX an go to KTV to sing, I've always liked DX to sing, listen to some touches the bottom of my heart's song, let me think a lot of the past before, and his girlfriend together of the time, before we fun place everywhere in a together, go to the crowded bus, she gave in the last row of the two-seater. Sometimes I will be nervous said to DX, see, here I have been with his girlfriend do what matter, then jokingly pulled her situation. So the next day I resisted and others to go with my girlfriend before have been to place, always feel that no one can replace her position in my heart, maybe he is really settle, did not have the enthusiasm and motivation.
And therefore are not willing to go out in the whole semester, stay in a small house all day very boring, on the net, or somehow a daze for a long time, at most is to go out with your friends on Internet cafes near all night, in the morning when the plane to rest assured to buy a breakfast mushrooms silk apply and sweet porridge, and then returned to the small house a whole day's sleep dead in the past. So is said to be a little out of reason, there were mouldy taste, body and thus in thin silently, sometimes I will suddenly exclamatory sentence "I acutely, I how thin." And then continue to a person lonely stand in the position of the window, watching people downstairs, standing for a long time, until the break by ringtones occasionally remind of, a couple of times when you go out in the evening I see a school called macro industry city places with a dazzling light, and my girlfriend often come here to get to the Internet, before now but never went in of courage, I don't know why, sometimes I a person in a hurry to walk in the crowded street to negative layer of the vanguard bought lots of things to eat for a few days, there is no objective back to the little house.
But some say, like this one personal life, time is long, seem to feel everything is taken for granted, but if you want to consider two personal life together again, need courage than before, don't know how many times need to turn over. Gradually when used to a personal life, as if become nothing can't used to it.
Later, I was thinking when I am not a personal life, I worry about too many things, before the time is far away from me, I'm afraid one day I forget the time, so I kept to record them. And now I spend most of their time is getting along with their perception has become very clear, remember many details, even know lamps is it light up every day, is it dark, will know that the security guard downstairs a few hour walk around a circle. So better than lose that part of the joy out of these may seem more and does not make sense perception.
There are also a lot of things about a person to write, for example, a man ran to the girl friend in the campus, many times in our more than once in the evening watching the film and backboard, sit a whole afternoon, a man to fish in the lake on the corridor girlfriend wrote I was still not big yoriko that a few word, another person in the dormitory collective party drink the wine to the half of the time hiding in the toilet to vomit to faint, done all living a life done. But don't know why, when put pen to paper to write, write down the should remember so clear and calm, as if to lovelorn after 5 months, finally can find yourself a firm but live alone in the same way.
DX at a public university graduated, be points in the city, a famous hospital internship, I heard will stay there, she will be looking for in their vacation I come out to play, my daily nurses face..
Also like pictures of friends around wildly, easily bought SLR, let I envy him very much.
And every week and girlfriend embarking on an intimate friend, weekend is can't see his shadow.
Everyone can slowly find their own way, and can't from pull out.
Girlfriend said a man I recently completed before a dream with me, I went to the local qishan county, baoji ate authentic zones whistle face, a man carrying a big barrel of water tingyi, climbed up the huashan's east peak, these are all girl friend promised to accompany me, now I finished them one by one. After I went to changsha, a person quiet eating changsha famous stinky tofu, did not find them dead peng linwu duck mouth said, a man carrying a big travel around in the guzhen town, jing Hong Kong, is behind the house reed river, can be in the house at night blowing kawakaze backyard. I recorded these things in peace, I will send these things to worry about time erosion of nothing at all.
I don't want to forget them.